


All I Need

by goodnightlove



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Gore, Slow Build, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 02:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2050707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodnightlove/pseuds/goodnightlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade momentarily dies and hallucinates that he and Peter have a life together, only to awaken and realize it wasn't real.  Peter is shocked by the state he finds Wade in and tries to help.</p><p>"Wade feels like he is drowning, he rips his tattered mask off and doubles over.  Rage and despair fill him and he slam his fists onto the concrete which sucks, he feels bones shatter.  A powerful scream of agony irrupts from him, so powerful his entire body is shaken.  He screams and screams until all the air is pushed from his lungs.  He breathlessly stares down at his gloved hands, as they quickly begin to heal. He felt so numb, he could no longer hear the fighting around him, or hear the sound of the real Peter Parker landing on the roof."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that's been rolling around in my head for a while now. (It will have more mature content in later chapters) *Edited this chapter heavily. I added some new dialogue and fixed some grammatical errors.*

Wade opened his eyes and found himself lying on a bed not his own, in a bedroom he had never seen before. The room was nicely decorated and warm sunlight poured in through the windows. Wade doesn’t recognize the room, he closes his eye and tries to remember how he got here, but he can’t seem to remember anything. Wade moves the blankets aside and stops when he sees he is not wearing his Deadpool suit, but a simple pair of boxes and a plain grey shirt. He tentatively reaches up and touches his face, feeling nothing but scarred flesh. He suddenly feels quite dizzy, and has to close his eyes to steady himself. Once the wave has passed, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and cautiously gets to his feet. His suit, guns and swords are nowhere to be found and he begins to grow anxious. He begins to questions himself, wondering if he has somehow been captured by someone. He looks around for anything that could be used as a weapon, but sees nothing. He decides he doesn’t need one and quietly heads toward the door, when the handle suddenly twists and the door opens. Wade is shocked to see a shorter, lithe built younger man standing in front of him. He has messy brown hair and bright green eyes and is smiling kindly back at him.

“I’m so glad you are awake, I was starting to get worried, you took longer than normal to heal this time.” The younger man walks calmly toward Wade and goes to embrace him. Wade flinches and steps back anxiously. The smile fades from the man’s face, and a look of worry and hurt replaces it. “Wade…are you okay?”

“Who the hell are you?” Wade is panicked now; he can’t place his face, his voice. How does he know who he is, and why did he just try to hug him.

“I’m Peter. Peter Parker, we’ve been dating for two years.”

Wade feels dizzy again. Peter Parker as in Spiderman. No, this had to be a dream, a delusion. Never in a million years would Peter date someone like Wade. Wade was a killer and Peter was not, end of story. Wade suddenly begins to feel angry. Since he knows the real Peter would never date him, much less be friendly toward him, he knows this is a trick. And he is tired of people messing with his head.

“We were out patrolling, when you were shot in the head by a criminal. You didn’t wake up right away, so I brought you back to our apartment.”

Wade looks up at the man, his expression changing from fear to predator. “Where are my guns? Who the fuck sent you to mess with me like this huh? Where am I? Another Weapon X?” Wade takes a step toward the man, and he beings to slowly back away. The younger man continues to back slowly out of the bedroom, and Wade following close behind. 

Wade suddenly advances toward the other and grabs him by the neck and the two of them stumble out of the bedroom. They continue like this for a few feet until Wade trips and the two of them tumble to the floor. Rage courses through Wade’s body. “How many times are you people going to keep doing this? How many times do I have to keep going back there!” Wade screamed down at the man pinned beneath him. Tears were falling freely form his eyes, and his expression was filled with so much sadness.

Wade shifts his weight and looks up for a moment and freezes. There are pictures of the two of them hanging on the wall, and some framed sitting atop a bookshelf. Wade is unmasked in normal clothing. Wade’s katanas sit neatly in a corner near the front door and his guns and suit sat on a table near a large couch. 

A painful sob brings Wade’s attention back to the man beneath him, and he releases his grip. Tears are still streaming down his face, but he looks relieved all the same. “You have to remember…”

Wade slowly gets up and braces himself against the wall behind him. “I…I don’t remember you, not your face, not your voice…nothing. I’m sorry” His legs give out and he slowly sinks to the floor. Could this be real? Could his mind really forget two years with someone? His memory isn’t what it used to be that much was true, but two years? How could he forget that anyone fell in love with him? Wade looks down at his hands then back up at Peter and his heart sinks. “No…no, I’m so sorry” Wade staggers to his feet as he begins to panic. If this was real, it meant that he had just tried to hurt Peter. “No no no no” 

Wade can’t breath, his head is spinning, and he feels like he is going to vomit. Peter gets to his feet and pulls Wade into his arms. “Shh it’s okay, it’s okay.” Wade tenses from the sudden contact. “I just hurt you, nothing is okay.” Wade says quietly.

“We’ll figure this out okay? There has to be a reason for your memory lapse, and we’ll find it. And you didn’t hurt me. I’m stronger than you remember, I could have thrown you off at any time.”

It doesn’t make Wade feel any better about what just occurred. Peter leans up and gently caresses his face, running his thumb against scarred flesh. “You’re not disgusted by all this?”

“No.” Peter shakes his head and smiles kindly. Wade reaches up, hesitating for a moment and cups Peter’s cheek.

A loud bang suddenly rings out through the apartment and Wade jumps and frantically looks around. “What, what’s wrong” Peter asks, his voice thick with worry.

“You didn’t hear that?” Wade asks still looking around. 

‘No, I didn’t hear anything.’

Harsh, sharp pain crawls its way through Wade’s head, and makes his vision go blurry. He is suddenly aware that he can’t feel his body, or Peter’s arms around him. His ears begin to painfully ring, and darkness fills his vision until he can no longer see anything. He drifts in the darkness for what feels like hours before his senses begin to return to him. He can feel cold concrete beneath him, and hear the sounds of gunfire and yelling. He is suddenly painfully aware of his skin, and can feel it shifting and moving beneath the suit.

His vision returns blurry and his head is throbbing. He finds himself on the roof of an old factory building and his memory comes flooding back. He came to New York a few days ago to assassinate a crime lord and steal valuable cargo. Only after arriving to the location did he realize that the cargo was actually alien weaponry and armor. The crime lord had been tipped off that Wade as coming for him and he hired a large amount of mercenaries as bodyguards and retrofitted them with the armor and weapons. A large battle broke out and the Avengers arrived just in time for Wade to take a bullet to the brain.

The Peter he was just looking at had been a hallucination. Wade feels like he is drowning, he rips his tattered mask off and doubles over. Rage and despair fill him and he slam his fists onto the concrete with such force he feels bones shatter. A powerful scream of agony irrupts from him, so powerful his entire body is shaken. He screams and screams until all the air is pushed from his lungs. He breathlessly stares down at his gloved hands, as they quickly begin to heal. He felt so numb, he could no longer hear the fighting around him, or hear the sound of the real Peter Parker landing on the roof.

For a while, all he can hear is the sound of his own ragged breathing. Slowly he can faintly make out Peter’s voice calling to him and feel a hand on his shoulder. He shrugs the hand off and slowly gets to his feet, his body feeling like stone. His gaze finally settles on Peter, standing close, his stance uneasy.

“Hey, what’s up web head? Enjoying the nice battle we got going on here?” Wade forgets he is not wearing his mask and Peter can see face, and his sad expression.

“Wade…what happened to you?” Peter asks calmly, unnerved by the look on the merc’s face.

“Nothing, just took a bullet to the skull and it really hurt this time. Brain growing back ya know.” Realizing he is without his mask, he quickly retrieves a new one from one of his pouches and puts it on. He is thankful for the barrier between him and Peter.  
“No need to worry baby boy. I’m just a little exhausted from this epic battle. And sorry to cut and run, but a merc needs his beauty rest.” Wade quickly moves past the stunned Peter and over to the edge of the building. “See ya around webs.”

Before Peter can say anything, Wade steps off the side of the building. Wade doesn’t make it far before he feels Peter’s arm wrap around him and he carried to the street below. “What’s gives Spidey, it’s not like I was going to die. Or have you forgotten about the healing factor?” Wade weakly says. He slips from Peter’s grasp and quickly disappears down the alleyway. He needs to put some distance between him and the real Peter. He can’t stand to be near him right now.

Peter is about to give chase when a loud explosion from the street draws his attention back to the battle.

 

A long hour later and the battle is over, the crime lord is in custody and all the mercenaries have been dealt with. Peter swings back to the roof where he encountered Deadpool, his mind racing. Peter jumps when he feels a large hand fall upon his shoulder. He turns to see Steve.

“Is everything alright, you seemed…distracted during the battle?”

Peter is silent for a moment, debating on whether he should mention his encounter with Deadpool.

“Actually there is something bothering me. Deadpool…he uh, he didn’t seem okay. “ Peter suddenly feels much younger than he is, talking to the super soldier.

“What do you mean? There is a lot wrong with him.”

“I don’t know what happened. I saw him take a bullet to the head earlier, but I didn’t pay too much attention to it. He’s always getting injured. But after he healed something was seriously wrong with him. I can’t get the look in his eyes out of my mind. I think he might try and hurt himself.”

Steve’s expression turns serious. “It wouldn’t be the first time he’s tried to kill himself. However, the last time he was serious about it, he awakened the Hulk and almost took out a daycare center. If he is in that state again, we need to lock him up, for the safety of everyone else.”

Steve’s words, only increased Peter’s anxiety. He needed to get to Wade quickly before he does something dangerous.

“After the Hulk…finished him, and he started to recover we sent him to an asylum, but that did not go well.” Steve’s arms are crossed and his brows are furrowed in what looks to be worry.

“Before we do that, let me see if I can talk to him. Maybe it won’t have to come to that.” Peter says.

“That is a large risk you are wanting me to take Peter. Wade is dangerous and unpredictable, especially when he gets in this state.”

“I understand. Just, maybe one person talking to him will help. If you and the others show up it might make things worse.”

Steve is silent for a moment, as he thinks about what Peter is suggesting. “Okay, we will try you approach. But if he can’t be reasoned with, contact me immediately, and we will come. And be careful, you can’t trust Wade.”

“I understand.” Peter gives a glance back at Steve before swinging off the roof.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His thoughts inevitably returned to the hallucination. His mind had created such a cruel and wonderful delusion. So cruel because the real Peter doesn’t love him, doesn’t consider him a friend even. He can’t blame him though. How could anyone love him? After all the terrible things he’s done and all the people he’s hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! This took longer than I would have liked, but I am happy how it turned out. I hope you enjoy.

Wade doesn’t remember much after talking to Peter. All he knows is sometime later he comes to his senses and is sitting in a dark alleyway. He feels so unbelievably numb, his entire body feels like stone and his head is throbbing. His mind has gone blank like this before, and it was after he first escaped Weapon X.

His thoughts inevitably returned to the hallucination. His mind had created such a cruel and wonderful delusion. So cruel because the real Peter doesn’t love him, doesn’t consider him a friend even. He can’t blame him though. How could anyone love him? After all the terrible things he’s done and all the people he’s hurt. He’s often laughed at the irony of himself. He hates himself so much and yet he still yearns to be loved, to be missed, to matter. He still reaches out, tries desperately to matter, all the while the boxes remind him how unworthy he truly is.

They’ve been speaking this entire time, and he has been doing his best to ignore them. Once his thoughts turned to darker things, their voices grew to deafening levels, drowning out all other thought.

( _Why’d you dream about something like that? The real Spidey would never love you, he can‘t stand to be around you_.)  
“That’s not true… After we defeated The Chameleon, he said thanks.”  
( **He was being polite, he still hates you**.)  
( _He said you scare him_.)  
“He didn’t say that…”  
( **He did. You can‘t blame him. You treat your friends like trash**.)  
“No you’re lying!”  
( _Bob, Weasel, Blind Al, ring any bells for ya_?)  
“Cable, Nate is my friend!” Wade doesn’t understand why he is arguing with them.  
( **Maybe so, but he’s dead now. People tend to die around you remember**?)  
( _You can’t die so everyone around you dies instead_ )

Wade screams and buries his head in his hands.

( _It’s true, they all die. You should kill yourself, do the world a favour and spare some lives_ )  
( **Go ahead, it won’t matter anyway**.)  
( _Kill yourself, do it, pull the trigger. You’ll feel so much better_.)  
( **You can‘t die idiot**.)  
( _Do it, remember the darkness, how wonderful it is? So quiet_.)  
( **Even Death has abandoned you**.)

Wade is trying to block them out, but as always their words ring true. Slowly his hand creeps to his holster and he grabs his gun, and silently places the cold barrel against his temple, something he’s done countless times.

( _Do it, pull the trigger, make everything go away_ )  
( **Might as well** )  
( _No one is going to come to your rescue. No one cares if you die. No one loves you_ …)  
( **See you soon** )  
( _Pull the trigger POW_!)

 

Wade’s hand is trembling, terrible thoughts rushing through his mind, terrible memories making his chest ache.

“No!” Wade screams and chucks the gun at the wall with such force it shatters. The voices instantly fall silent. Wade stares breathlessly at the shattered gun, his heart racing and his mind quiet. He’s never done this before. For the first time he feels proud of himself. He feels bad that he smashed one of his guns, but proud still. He looks down at his gloved hands, still trembling and beings to laugh. A relived and happy laugh.  
Wade gets to his feet, and brushes the dirty from his suit. He takes deep breaths and tries not to laugh anymore. He feels his heart lighten, and his mind is racing with thoughts of things to do while feeling so great.

“Hmm Chimichangas sound good right, or maybe I could find a nice penthouse to crash at, go for ice cream? See a movie, nah nothing good is playing. Oh, I know, go to a different universe and watch some superhero movies, since they don’t exist here. Maybe see how the new Spidey remakes are.”

Wade paces back and forth, quietly talking to himself, calling out a vocal checklist. He suddenly feels eyes upon him and turns when he hears a thud. Peter is standing a few feet away from him.

Peter had arrived just in time to witness Wade smashing the gun against the wall and his elated laughter afterwards. Peter climbed down, feeling the anxiety that had plagued him since the rooftop, starting to fade. If Wade had done this, it meant he wasn’t beyond help.

Despite the mask, Peter can see Wade’s grin spread across his face. “Hey Petey, how’s it hanging, get it cause you’re a spider.” Wade laughs loudly at his own joke and walks closer to Peter.

“I came to find you. Back at the roof you looked upset; I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Peter said truthfully.

Wade stiffened for a moment, then a wide smile spread across his face once more. “You…really came to check up on little ol me?”

“Yeah, I really did. You didn‘t look well.” Peter said softly, shifting awkwardly.

Wade’s smile dimmed as his thoughts returned to the hallucination, but he didn’t linger on them for long. The real Peter was standing in front of him and had worried about him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Their interaction after taking down The Chameleon had been good; they got food and hung out on the rooftops for a while. They chatted about nothing in particular, and Peter even revealed his first name to Wade. His default way of thinking when someone was kind to him was to assume they were lying or needed something from him. But something in the back of his mind told him that Peter was doing neither of those things.

“Uh thanks for checking on me. But no need to worry yourself web head I’m just fine.” The big grin had once again returned to Wade’s face. And for once, he was telling the truth. At this moment at least, he did feel fine. His heart felt light and his head was clear.

“Hey listen Petey, not coming on to ya or anything, but do you want to go grab some food, I’m buyin.” Wade motioned to himself.

“It’s late Wade, I just want to go home and go to sleep.” Peter could see Wade’s smile diminish and a pout took it’s place. “Don’t pout you big baby. I wanted to know you wanted to go on patrol with me for a few weeks.”

Wade was stunned into silence again, twice in one night; it had to be a record. His thoughts turned dark again. Wondering what Peter would get out of his. He never had any interest in doing this before. Wade didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to risk getting the chance to play hero or to just hang out with Peter. But he had to ask. “Why do you want my booty all of a sudden webs?” Wade wiggled his eyes suggestively; hiding behind humour was always his strong suit.

Peter snorted and shook his head. “Not happening Wilson. All joking aside, I don’t mind being around you. You did really well when I was drugged and sleeping it off in a closet. You didn’t kill anyone and you saved many people. I figured you could do that again, only this time I would be conscious for it.” Peter laughs, it’s warm and washes over Wade making his fears seem distant.

“Well if you are absolutely serious that you can handle being around this much freakin awesome, then yeah sure, lets tear up the city.” Wade threw his arms up in triumph, voice echoing against the walls of the alleyway.

“Whoa slow down, there are going to be rules about this.” Peter said crossing his arms.

“Aww come on Petey, really? You have to go all adult and serious on me? And here I thought we bonded.” Wade arms dropped and he instantly deflated.

“Stop whining. No killing, ever, for any reason, got it? In addition, do not put innocent civilians in danger. No guns, grenades, or swords.”

“What? Then how am I supposed to get the baddies, ask them nicely. Please sir, don’t shot that man, just say no to bullets.” Wade mocks his voice higher than normal.

Peter sighs and shakes his head. “If you want to patrol you will have to follow the rules. And besides, I’ve seen you fight Taskmaster with you bare hands and come out on top. I think you can handle not using your weapons.”

He sees Wade posture peak up at the apparent praise. “Pfft fine Petey, but only if you let me keep one sword. I’ll feel more confident around the baddies.” Wade batted his eyelashes at Peter.

“Fine you can keep one sword, but if you use it to hurt someone I’ll take you in myself, got it?” Peter’s tone was darker and serious.

“Got it, got it webs, no need to get scary.” Wade held his hands up in defeat. He knew Peter was serious. This was the first time someone was helping him out, giving him a chance to do the right thing. And he no intention of screwing this up.

“So baby boy can you give me a lift back to my apartment?” The grin was back on his face, clearly visible through the Deadpool mask.

“You have an apartment?” Peter asked, not intending to be insulting. He had never really given much thought to where Wade stayed.

“Of course I do. It’s for when I got merc business in the city. So will you give me a lift? Please, I‘ll model my cute little maid outfit. I remember how much you liked that one”

Peter rolls his eyes. But he really couldn’t say no to giving him a lift to his apartment. “Fine, but no funny business, or I’ll drop you.” Peter’s voice was back to normal and he turned his back to Wade and motioned for him to climb onto his back.

Wade hopped like an excited schoolgirl and careful climbed onto his back. Once settled Peter began to climbs the wall, toward the top of the building.

“You know Petey, I said this to you before, but it really wasn’t you in there, so I’ll say it again. You know, if the internet could see the two of us like THIS it would have FITS.” Wade chuckled, and Peter could feel this voice rumble against his back.

“What are you talking about?” Peter asked, finally reaching the top of the building.

“They think you and me would make a cute couple baby boy.” Wade wiggled his brows again, expecting Peter to drop him but he didn’t.

“Not happening Wilson. Now hold on tight.”

Before Wade could reply, Peter latched a web onto a nearby building and they were off. Wade feels dizzy again, but the good kind. They are swinging fast, high above the city, and the cool night air pierced through his suit. Most of the time when he gets to hitch a ride with Peter, they re fighting and he doesn’t have the chance to enjoy it. The city from this view was rather beautiful he thought. His anxiety is finally gone and fatigue sets in. For now, he has his arms around Peter, even if it’s not meant in that way, it feels nice. Wade let’s his eyes close and he lays his head down on Peter’s shoulder. He can feel him turn his head and look back.

“Wade, you can’t go to sleep, I don’t know where you live.” Peter launches another web then nudges the sleepy merc with his shoulder.

“I live near the harbor, in a shitty apartment complex called the Sunrise Apartments.” When he is finished, Wade closes his eyes and lays his head back down. Peter knew the area he was referring too. It was in a crime ridden part of the city. Not that Peter lived in a particular safe part of the city either.

It didn’t take him long to get there. It was an eight story apartment building, with an old crumbling red brick facade. Peter made sure the area was clear before swinging down to land on a rusted fire escape.

“Wade, wake up, we are here.”

Wade awakened with a jolt, wiping drool from Peter’s shoulder as he was let down. They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Wade broke the silence. “So uh do want to come in for a beer, being serious, no funny business.”

Peter doesn’t answer right away. He is tired and just wants to sleep, but he is still a little worried about the merc. When he finally pulls himself from his thoughts, he looks up and realizes Wade has climbed up to the next window. “You comin webs?” He slides the window open with a grunt and climbs inside.

He instantly regretted his decision to invite Peter inside, the apartment was a mess. Peeling wallpaper exposed the old board behind. The ceiling was bare, and the carpet was eaten away, revealing the wooden floor beneath. A very old and worn brown couch sat in front of an ancient looking television set. Various take out boxes and bags lay around the couch and on the table next to it. Wade had never really noticed how bad it was before. He was about to lean back out the window and tell Peter to forget about it when he hears the sound of Peter climbing through the window. “Shit.” He said under his breath.

Peter stood silently next to the window, his gaze scanning over the apartment. It looked like it should be condemned honestly. It also made him feel sadness for the merc, knowing that he lived like this.

“Uh heh sorry about the mess, I don’t get a lot of company, ya know.” Wade rubbed the back of his neck and Peter could see he was nervous. “Listen, I’d understand if you don’t want that beer, I won’t be offended.”

Again, Peter had no intention of leaving. He didn’t feel offended by the filthy surroundings, just saddened by them. “No, I’m fine, I’ll have a beer.”

“Cool, cool, just uh make yourself at home.” Wade hesitated a moment before disappearing through a door Peter assumed was the kitchen.

Peter looked around a moment longer before quietly sitting down on the couch. The cushions sank beneath him and he instantly felt shorter. He looked to his right and spotted a crumpled piece of paper lying on the table. He craned his neck to get a better look at it. It was hastily scribbled with what looked like red crayon. "Get more merc jobs. Get more merc jobs that don’t make you feel like a steaming bag of dog shit. Steal the Tardis, time travel. Bug Logan, don’t get shanked. Pay rent. Fuck rent! No=o pay rent; seriously, we are like a week behind. You two shut the fuck up, I can’t hear myself think. Shit, I’ve been writing your side of the conversation!!"  
The majority of the notes are unreadable, buffed out by food stains. But the last scribbled Peter could read, makes his heart ache. "Feel better..."

Peter wondered if things would have been different for Wade, had someone really taken the time to help him. To his knowledge, no one was there after Weapon X. That kind of trauma just doesn’t go away.

Peter is pulled from his thoughts when Wade comes back into the room, carrying two cold beers. He plops down next to the hero, and hands him the beer bottle. “Wait are you legal to drink?”

Peter scoffed and pulled the mask off his mouth, and grabbed the bottle out of his hand. “I've been to college.” Peter laughs at his apparent worry if Peter was a minor.

“Oh fancy. Just making sure Petey, don’t want to get ya in trouble.” Wade grabs a knife from his boot and pops the cap off. Wade hands Peter the open bottle and holds his hand out for the unopened one. Peter hesitates a moment before handing it to him. Wade takes it with a smile, and opens it. Once the bottle is opened and the knife put away, he raises his own mask and chugs a large portion of the bottle.

Peter glances at Wade, and looks at what little of his face is visible. He can see the scars faintly shifting and changing and he wonders if it hurts.

Silence falls between the two of the, somewhat awkward, but not terrible. “How long have you been living here?” Peter asks, wanting to break the silence.

“Ummmmm, I can’t remember honestly. My memory ain’t what it used to be.” Wade finished the rest of the beer and sits it down on the floor.

“Getting old there grandpa?” Peter teased, elbowing the merc.

“No webs. FYI I think I’m in late twenties.” Wade pouts, crossing his arms in mock offense.

“You don’t know how old you are?”

“Not really. I can’t remember anything before Weapon X. When I lost my healing factor for a while, I looked pretty young. And handsome if I may so say so myself.”

Peter smiles sadly, he didn’t mean to touch upon such a dark subject, he was trying to help Wade, not make him remember all of that.

Wade didn’t seem to mind though, and yawned and stretched loudly next to the hero. The yawn was contagious and Peter soon followed. “Stop spreading yawn germs Wilson.”

Wade laughed warmly. “Can’t promise anything Petey.”

“It’s getting late; I need to go to sleep.” Peter stood and downed the rest of his beer, unable to stop from grimacing as the bitter liquid slid down his throat. “Listen tomorrow night I will meet you back here at dusk and we will go on patrol.”

“I still get to bring one sword remember?”

“Yeah, and you still can’t use it.”

The two sneered mockingly at each other, before the sneers turned into smiles. “I’ll see you tomorrow Wade.”

Peter climbed back out the window and gave a small wave before swinging away.

After Peter was gone, Wade sat in silence. Peter’s presence filled up so much of the room, now that he was gone; it felt like Wade was standing on the moon. After a few minuets of silence, Wade stood and made his way to the bedroom. The bedroom was large, but contained little. Wade’s bed consisted of an old mattress atop broken boards and concrete blocks. An old desk and equally older computer sat near a boarded up window. To the right of the bed sat all his guns and ammo, and a few spare costumes lay about the floor.

Wade stripped his Deadpool costume, and threw the ruined mask onto the floor before crawling into bed. The rough sheets rubbed painfully against his skin. The cancer was particularly active tonight and his entire body felt raw. He ignores the pain and rolls over a few times, trying to find a comfortable spot. His eyes eventually grow heavy and sleep overtakes him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter continues to help Wade, while Wade keeps what has been going on with his mind a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to finish. So much RL stuff got in the way, I wanted to have this up last month. The next chapters are going to be more intense from this point on as things progress. I hope you enjoy. :)

Despite how late Peter made it home, he is up before noon and waiting at Stark Tower. He yawns painfully and scratches his chest through his Spidey suit. He wishes he was in bed right now, instead of anxiously sitting in Steve’s office.

In the silence of the office, Peter’s thoughts wander back to Wade. He hoped he did well in the night, Wade had been in high spirits when he left the apartment. Peter hears the click of the door opening and Steve quietly steps into the room, wearing his Captain America uniform.

“How did things go with Deadpool, did you locate him?” Steve says, getting straight to the point. He crosses the room and comes to stand in front of Peter, rather than sitting down.

“Yes I did. I found him in an alley about to shoot himself. Before I could stop him, he smashed the gun against the wall.”

Steve’s stern expression lessens and he unfolds his arms, “Deadpool chose not to shoot himself?”

“I was surprised as well. And I think he was just as shocked. He was so happy and excited, I don’t think he expected that of himself. And I…may have offered to allow him to come on patrol with me. It was a heat of the moment kind of thing. Peter grimaced under his mask, waiting for Steve’s reply.

“Deadpool is unpredicted and dangerous. It’s foolish to purposely allow him around civilians. He is crazed and doesn’t care who is caught in the crossfire.” Steve’s posture is stiff and a rather deep frown adorns his face.

Peter suspected this is how Steve would react to the news. And for all accounts, Steve was right. Wade wasn’t the best at saving people, or not destroying everything around him. Still, something told Peter that there was good in Wade.

“I understand. It’s just…I’ve never seen Wade like that. I want to help him. What if he did improve, what if after a week of patrol with me he hasn’t hurt anyone. What then?”

“A week of good deeds will not abolish all the evil he has done. Why are you pressing this?” 

Peter is silent, trying to turn thoughts into actual words. “I don’t know Cap, to be honest. I can’t get that moment on the roof out of my mind. He needs help, and I don’t think locking someone up with mental problems is the way to solve this.” 

Steve’s eyes slightly narrow at Peter’s sentence and he crosses his arms. “I’m going to trust you on this Peter. I hope you understand what you are getting yourself into, who you are putting at risk.”

Peter feels angr start to bubble up“Did anyone ever, you know talk to the guy?”

Steve looks confused for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“Like offer him help, listen to him. A person just doesn’t wake up one day, and decide they don’t want to exist anymore. It takes pain, hopelessness and isolation. Something must have happened for Deadpool to get to that point. Just like last night. Something happened on that roof. So instead of locking him up, I think this time we should actually talk to him. And I do understand what I am doing; I do understand what is at risk. I am not a child. People have died in my arms, people I loved, have died in my arms. I think about that every time I put on this suit, every time I go out and patrol.” Peter lets out a ragged breath and anxiety starts to sink into his stomach. He hadn’t realized he’d raised his voice, or that he was affected by what Steve had said.

Steve took all of what Peter had to say quietly and calmly and waited for him to finish. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply that you were a child.”

“I apologize to, I didn’t mean to yell.” Peter has never raised to voice to Steve before.

“So do I have the all clear to continue?” Peter asks, his voice a little hushed.

“Yes, you do, but proceed with caution. By the end of the week, I expect you and Deadpool to report to the tower, and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a week.” Peter cannot leave the office quick enough. He wants to put as much distance between him and Steve as possible.

He sits on the side of the tower, waiting for his heart to stop racing. Once he is calm, he thinks about what he has to do today before meeting up with Deadpool later that night. He has a lunch date with Aunt May, then he needs to go grocery shopping, he’s put it off long enough, and he needs to pay his rent. Once he is calm Peter cast a web and swings toward the direction of Aunt May’s apartment.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Wade feels a soft hand gently slide across his face and down to his shoulder, stirring him from sleep. He quickly opens his eyes to find himself back in the bedroom from the hallucination. The fake Peter is sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at him. But there is darkness in his green eyes, and it sends a shiver down Wade’s spine.

“You’re not real. I know that now, none of this is real.” Wade manages to stammer, wanting to move away from the figure.

A wicked grin stretches across the fake Peter’s face, and he laughs deep and throaty, not anything like the real Peter’s warm laugh. “Wade I am real. I’m as real as you are.” He reaches out and caresses Wade’s face again, and he can feel warmth and soft skin. Wade begins to panic and jerks his head away.

“This is in my mind, it’s not real.” Wade tightly shuts his eyes, waiting for this to be over.

Another laugh follows. “This is what you deserve Wade. You’re a monster, and you destroy everyone you come in contact with, you ruin their lives. You should just fucking die, but you can’t. Isn’t it wonderful? No matter how much pain you are in, you can never make it stop. It’s your punishment, for being a monster.”

“No no no, wake up, wake up.” Wade rocks back and forth on the bed, quietly repeating the words.

“Lover are you listening?” A feminine voice ghosts over him and he feels his blood run cold. He doesn’t open his eyes, he knows who is there. He could recognize Typhoid Mary’s voice. The horrible memories of that night come rushing back and he is sure that his heart has stopped beating. His body begins to go numb and he realizes he is starting to wake up.

“We’ll be waiting for you lover, when you return.” Her voice fades as the light turns to darkness and Wade is surrounded.

He wakes in his own bed, in his own room, screaming at the top of his lungs. He body is covered in cold sweat and the sheets are soaked. His stomach turns and Wade rolls over and tries to vomit. But his stomach is empty and he ends up dry heaving. Once he is sure the nausea has passed he stumbles out of bed and crawls into an empty corner of his bedroom. His heart is beating so fast he can’t hear anything but the blood rushing through his veins. He can’t stop shaking, can’t stop his stomach from twisting into knots of anxiety. He curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs and buries his head. Why was his mind doing this to him? Maybe this is how it ends? His body could not wither or die, but maybe his mind was. An image of her face blinks across his mind and he doubles over and tries to vomit once again. Nothing comes but pained muscles and a sore throat. He curls back into himself and waits.

Hours pass before he finally moves. He doesn’t know how long he sat there, only that it looks like the sun is about to set. The words of the real Peter echo in his mind, and stir him into movement. Peter will be there soon, and he doesn’t want him to know that something is wrong. Peter is helping him, and if Wade were to tell Peter that he thinks he is seriously loosing his mind…he doesn’t know what Peter will do.

Wade slowly gets to his feel, his muscles sore and stiff. He slowly makes his way to the bathroom and steps into the shower. He closes his eyes with the hot water hits his scarred flesh, and starts easing some of his tension. He begins to go over different theories of what is wrong with him. The most obvious is that he simply lost his mind for good this time. Maybe someone tampered with his mind. He was immune to hypnotism, and telepathy. Then the realization hits him like a ton of bricks. The boxes have been silent since the alley. The things the hallucinations were saying mirrored things the boxes had said.

“Okay, what if it is them? How do I get rid of boxes in my head…well they aren’t boxes anymore. Were they always there? I can’t remember anymore…” Wade seriously considers telling Peter. Maybe it was better for him to be locked up. But he still wasn’t ready to give up, just yet.

‘Peter is already putting a lot of trust in me. Try telling a guy that the boxes in your mind are trying to drive you even more batshit crazy, well…”

Wade turns the water off and steps out of the shower, and dries off before returning to the bedroom. He eyes the bed as if it were a monster about to devour him. He puts on a new Deadpool suit and mask before going into the living room.

He sits down on the couch, and feels the emptiness of the apartment barring down on him. “Okay, I only see them when I go to sleep, or when I die. So I just won’t sleep, or die. The first will be a breeze, I hardly sleep anyway. Don’t need to with the good ol healing factor. But the death…I die a lot. I guess I will have to be careful. Though I’m patrolling with Spidey, I don’t think I will be doing anything too death defying.” 

Wade knew he was lying to himself. Things would eventually spiral out of control. And so he makes a promise to himself, that at the end of the week he is going to tell Peter. Until then, he is going to enjoy his company.

A knock at the window brings Wade back to reality. Peter is there, patiently waiting on the fire escape. Wade takes a deep breath, then opens the window. “He Spidey, ready to go kick some criminal booty.”

“Yeah, normally my patrols are pretty boring.” Peter is unable to hide the relief in his voice, when he hears that Wade sounds like his old self.

“Right. Well maybe we will get to humiliate a mediocre supervillian again. You could give me your autograph again.” Wade flashes Peter a wide grin, before walking past him and slipping out onto the fire escape.

“You can wear your maid outfit.” Peter teased as he follows the merc.

Wade beams back at him then hops onto his back, throwing Peter slightly off balance. “Aww baby boy, I knew you thought I was cute.” Peter shakes his head and swings off the building.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

They patrol for many hours, with Wade talking incessantly to Peter, who chimed in with his own witty banter. By the time they land on the roof of a random building, it is almost two in the morning. Peter’s back is aching from carrying Wade around all night, but otherwise he is fine.

“So you weren’t kidding when you said this job was boring?” Wade said, swinging his legs over the side of the roof.

“It is sometimes. I don’t mind, it just means I get to hang out on rooftops and fool around for a couple of hours.” Peter joins Wade on the edge of the building, sitting down with a pained sigh.

“What kind of foolin around are you talkin about webs?” Wade gives Peter a nudge with his elbow.

Peter elbows him back, gently and laughs. “Not what you are thinking about pervert. When I was in college, I used the time to study. Besides, is sex all you think about?”

“No, it’s just funny innuendo, no sexy innuendo. I mostly think about food. I mean think about it Petey, if you could eat anything you wanted and not gain weight, or get sick, wouldn’t you eat everything?”

Peter opened his mouth to protest, but finds that he can’t. “Ummmm, when you put it that way, then yeah. There are a lot of unhealthy things I’d eat.”

Wade laughs and lays back, his legs still dangling off the edge of the building. Peter lingers for a moment before joining him. They lay in silence for several minuets, both staring up at the clear night sky.

“You know as a kid I was afraid to look at the sky like this.” Wade said, breaking the silence.

“Hm why?” Peter cranes his neck to look at Wade.

“Okay, don’t laugh. I thought if I looked into the sky long enough gravity would break or something and I would go floating up into space.”

Peter snorted and rolled as laughter poured out of him. “You realize for that to happen it would be planet wide right? And there are all sorts of other factors to go with it.”

“Hey I said no laughing, web head! I was a kid, and I was stupid. I still get vertigo looking up.” Wade leans back down and his gaze returns to the sky.

Peter’s laughter slowly dies and he catches his breath. “I highly doubt you are stupid Wade. And besides, if it makes you feel any better, after watching the movie Tremors, I though Graboids were going to come through the floor and eat me.”

“But…we’re on an island, that would be impossible Pete.” Wade said turning to look at Peter.

“I know, my Uncle Ben told me the same thing. My poor Aunt had no idea what I was upset about. After he explained to it her, she wouldn’t allow me to watch any creature movies.”

“Did you really stop watching them?”

“No, but I was still scared.” Peter says with a gentle laugh, nostalgia washing over him.

“That’s funny considering all your villains are animal based.” Wade chuckled.

“Yeah you’re right. I guess it was early training to become Spiderman.”

 

Things fall silent between the two of them once again and Wade starts to feel anxiety creeping back. This is why he always kept himself busy. If he just stopped and relaxed he would being to think about things he shouldn’t. Wade was about to suggest they call it a night when they hear the sound of a man and woman shouting. Both Wade and Peter climbed to the other edge of the building and peer down. A much large man is yelling at a woman, his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. The woman tries to pull away, but is slapped with such force it sends her falling to the ground.

Before Peter moves Wade is already over the side of the building. He grabs a hold of what is left of the fire escape, swings to get leverage then plants both his boots firmly into the man’s face. The man stumbled backward, bracing himself against the other building. He gets a good look at Wade then at Peter before he takes off down the street. Wade places his hand on his katana and is about to give chase when Peter tells him to stay put. Wade grumbles and watches and Peter goes after the attacker.

The woman is still in the alley behind Wade, frightened and quietly trying to calm herself down. Wade sheaths his sword and glances back at her. He doesn’t know how to calm someone down like this, why did Peter have to insist he stay, he was only going to maim the asshole.

Wade rubs the back of his neck and turns around, facing the woman. He wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say. Wade quietly walks a little closer and sits down on an old metal garbage can.

“Why’d that guy bother you, couldn’t take no for an answer?” Wade asked, his voice calmer than normal.

The woman says nothing but shakes her head yes.

“Do you have any friends out here?”

The woman shakes her head no.

Wade is about to say something else when the lid beneath him caves and he falls into the trashcan. He is rather squashed, only his legs and feet dangle out of the bin. 

“Help! Man Down! Assistance Please!” Wade flails his arms out of the bin, trying to grab the edge and pull himself up.

He can hear the faint sound of a giggle, then the woman’s face appears over the edge of the bin. She extenders her hand to Wade and helps pull him out.

“Whew thanks, it smelled terrible in there. You never see something like this happening to Spiderman.” Wade laughs.

“You’re welcome.” She says, a soft smile gracing her face.

Wade feels awkward, but is pleased that his embarrassment could make her feel better. This he could do. 

“Are you a superhero?” She asks quietly, looking at his black and red suit.

“Ha, no um…more like hero in training, that’s why I’m hangin with Spidey. My name is Wade.” Wade extends his hand and she gently takes his and shakes it.

“My name is Nora. You are giving me your real name, don’t you have to protect your secret identity?” Nora releases his hand and shoves her hands back into her pockets.

“Naw, everyone in the superhero world pretty much knows who I am anyway.” Wade says with a shrug. It was true. Plus you need to have people to worry about to need a secret identity. But he didn’t want to tell her that.

Peter swings down into the alley, having webbed the guy up for the police and called them. Nora smiles when she sees him. Peter is relieved to see she is okay and smiling.

Wade leaves Nora’s side and calmly walks over to Peter and whispers in his ear. “Hey Petey how about you give this nice lady ride back to her apartment. It would be a good end to a shitty night, better than calling her a cab.”

Peter looks at Wade then thinks for a moment. “Miss, would you like me to take you home, I can give you a lift.” Nora’s face lights up. “Yes, thank you.”

Wade steps away from Peter when Nora comes closer. Peter wraps an arm around her waist, then shoots a web, high a top the building. “Hold on tight.” He gives one last glance at Wade then the two of them are off.

Wade smiles to himself as they swing away. He looks up at the roof of the building and at the broken fire escape. He has to kick off the other building to reach the lower steps. After some trial and error, he finally makes his way back to the roof .

Wade sits down on the edge of the building again. In the silence anxiety pools in the pit of his stomach.  
It’s difficult to keep his mind off the dream he had, if you could call it that. He looks down at his hands, and wrings his fingers together, he can still feel the texture of the scars beneath. He contemplates talking to Banner. Maybe he could develop a serum or something that could counteract the healing factor. He’s never asked before. But he isn’t sure that Banner would help him, especially after their last encounter.

Thirty minuets go by before Wade spots Peter swinging toward him. Peter lands gracefully atop the building. Wade stands up and brushes the dirt from his suit. “That was good right, I mean I did okay?” He asks scratching the back of his neck.  
“Yeah, you did fine. You got her to calm down. What did you do?” 

“Oh I humiliated myself by falling into a trashcan, noting special.”

“How did you fit?” Peter said with a laugh.

“I dunno.” Wade shrugs with a laugh and glances behind Peter. Small glint of light from a far building catches his eye. His heart sinks when he realizes what it is. Wade grabs the front of Peter’s Spiderman suit and pulls him down just in time for the gunshot to go off.


End file.
